Posts from November 01, 2006

For Sale: 1.8 kg of assorted sweets. The surplus of confectionery is the result of an unfortunate trick or treat incident a few years ago.

The wife and I had argued for many hours over who was going to escort our two young children, dressed up in Halloween outfits, carrying pumpkins to demand money with menaces from neighbours. The alternative was even worse - to stay at home and answer the door to similar young, lovable street urchins.

When I realised United were playing in Europe, I quickly opted for the latter. The doorbell kept ringing and I dutifully kept answering the door, said 'Ooh what a lovely outfit' and proffered the tray of treats.

The game started. The doorbell kept ringing incessantly. I answered the door for the thousandth time. When I returned, United had scored. The doorbell rang again. I ignored it. The doorbell rang again. I turned the lights off and went into the back room. The doorbell rang again - constantly.

I opened the door. 'Happy Halloween ! Trick or treat'. 'You know what lads. I think I'll take my chances and go for a trick.' 'Oh come on mister. Can't we just have some of those sweets or a quid ?'. 'No. I'm sorry. Good-bye'.

Next morning, I was relieved to see no eggs splattered on my windows and no excrement lying with the morning post.

However, I did notice some minor graffiti chalked on the front wall. I quickly washed it off. Only it didn't come off. It wasn't chalk but looked like wax. I washed it off with hot water and detergent. Only it didn't come off. I tried bicarbonate of soda with neighbours watching me. Finally I got gloves and a face mask and used hydrochloric acid but the single word stubbornly remained.

Still, my kids and wife thought this was absolutely hilarious and there was a silver lining to this cloud. When we gave people directions to our house, we closed with

'Turn right. Our house is half way down on the left, after the tree with IDIOT written on the front wall.'

Doug Burns posts a typically honest article about the art of self-promotion and the issue of references. Personally, I think Doug's blog is itself an excellent tribute to his technical competence, his ability to communicate and share information as well as offering an insight into his personality.

I must confess that my manager's Inbox is not overflowing with glowing testimonials from colleagues and customers, let alone unsolicited ones. I used to reassure myself that this was because IT managers are exceptionally busy people with (justifiably) high expectations when paying for expensive consultants. Nowadays I just put it down to my lack of technical ability.

However, occasionally a customer will say a heartfelt 'Thank you. That was really useful' after a onsite visit which is probably the most satisfying part of my job.

Recently, a person commented on this blog asking about issues with Siebel and UTC. I tried to help directly via email and received a reply thanking me for taking the time to answer his questions. Of course, I deleted the original comment as I have no desire to turn this site into 'asknorman.siebel.com' but his words of thanks were much appreciated.

Many years ago, during an IT slump, I was trying to secure a contract as a Unix/C programmer. I had an interview at Ingres but was unsuccessful. A week later, the agent called me. The opportunity was suddenly and unexpectedly back on and 'could I possibly start on Monday ?'.

Unusually, the agent insisted on meeting me in person and told me that, for various reasons, the first choice candidate didn't really work out. Consequently, he was let go after one week and I was to be on probation for one week with this very demanding client.

The agent proceeded to call me every lunchtime and again at home every single night to discuss progress, technical issues, clamouring for any verbal, implied or written feedback from the client about my technical abilities.

Judgment day duly arrived on Friday. As I nervously approached to get the verdict, the manager said 'I've got to leave now, Norman but thanks for all your efforts this week. See you on Monday'. Probably the best reference I never had.