Posts from April 03, 2006

I was at my desk at 09.05 this Monday morning. Nothing extraordinary there but considering I live in South West London and this particular desk was in Newcastle, this represented quite an achievement.

And this prompt start was only possible due to a considerate, thoughtful taxi driver.

I ordered a taxi at 05.45 on Monday morning. I slept downstairs on the sofa bed to avoid disturbing the household at that unearthly hour.

I got up at 05.30. The taxi driver rings my doorbell at 05.35. The following conversation ensues in hushed whispers. Thankfully, for his sake, it is quite hard to get really angry in a hushed whisper.

'What time is the pickup ?' '5.45'
'What time is it now ?' '5.35'
'Why have you rung the doorbell ?'
'To let you know I am here'
'Why have you just woken my wife and children up at half five
in the morning ?'
'Oh. Sorry'

And with that, he returned to wait in the taxi and any hope of a (paltry) tip disappeared into the chilly morning air.

I was interested to read that David Beckham suffers from OCD and simply can not abide an odd number of ~~lines~~ cans of coke in his fridge

I have a similar obsession about cans of Grolsch in my fridge. 0, 2, 4, 8 but never 1, 3, 5, 6 or 7. If we ever get an odd number, I simply ~~drink 'em~~ scold the offenders soundly and banish them to the cupboard (where odd numbers only are allowed).

Similarly, rounds in the pub simply must be equalized by close of drinking otherwise I come out in an angry, red rash.

I also must practice free kicks and penalties for 7 hours a day until I actually score one before I go home for my tea. So when England exit the World Cup on penalties in the quarter finals (again), it certainly won't be my fault.

If the hoovering is not done, then I immediately summon my army of maids to do it before I can even contemplate sitting down for my tea with Posh and the kids.

Now, did I put the gerbils out ?

Lee Trundles smile after Swanseas victory (in the Sunday Pub League Final played at, of all places, Cardiff) couldnt be any wider without fracturing his jaw. But what I love about this story most is the following statement by Swansea FC's chairman, Huw Jenkins:

'Maybe it was a heat-of-the-moment thing'

Possibly, but given Lee Trundle had gone to the trouble of getting a T-shirt printed with a cartoon depicting a person urinating over a Cardiff shirt, that seems a little unlikely.