The primary DNS server at Malmaison went down earlier this evening for two hours so I called reception and uttered the following question:
Ou est lInterWeb, sil vous plait ?
The kind lady replied 'Whay ya say, InterWeb down, aye - we know like, Ha'way. Do you want a canny bag o' Tudor as compensation, bonny Lad ?'
Tom Kyte has some favourite quotes so here are some of mine.
Are you still doing what you did 5 years ago ? Yeah ? Well, don't make a career out of it ? (Mark. E. Smith) All over Battersea, some hope and some despair (Morrissey)
As she parts her greying hair, voices on the stair (The Chameleons)
Every twenty minutes on the Appalachian Trail, Katz and I walked further than the average American walks in a week (Bill Bryson)
Doing so will result in obstreperous behavior, usually devoid of any amusement value. (Dynix/ptx manual on the dangers of mixing BSD and ABI socket calls)
Is there really no beginning to your talents ? (Clive Anderson to Jeffrey Archer)
Have you ever thought, just for one moment, that it might be you ? (Alan Shearer to Glen Hoddle after Luxembourg game)
And finally, for all you philosophers out there who managed to get this far
We may seem cold, or
We may even be
The most depressing people you've ever known
At heart, what's left, we sadly know
That we are the last truly British people you'll ever know
(Morrissey)
Only joking. Sorry about that, philosophers. Here you go.
Those who forget the past are condemned to relive it (George Santayana)
I just watched Arsenal beat Juventus 2-0 in the Champions League. I dont support Arsenal. I dont really care whether they win or lose. I only watched the game to kill two hours on a slow Tuesday evening in Newcastle.
In March last year, however, I was also working away from home in Gothenburg (near Sweden), watching a different game I passionately cared about.
Here is the barstool correspondent's verdict on Inter Milan 1 MUFC 0.
Well this time last year (but a month later) I witnessed United's departure from the European Cup in a bar in Amsterdam and this year it was Gothenborg's turn.
The night started badly when we couldn't get into the Sports bar as we hadn't booked a table. Good start.
Then my Swedish colleagues took me to an Irish bar which was showing the Ice Hockey playoffs as Gothenborg were playing. Nice one.
So we sat down to eat and I was promised that the hockey would be over soon and I could see the 2nd half. Great. Thanks for that. Food took absolutely ages - it was only a burger for Pete's sake and when it came 40 mins later the chips were bloody cold. Thanks for that.
Eventually got to see 2nd half. We never got close to a shot on goal. 2 games and hardly a shot on target let alone any goals.
Their spawny goal looped over Tim Howard but still, at least we have got rid of Roy Carroll. Yeah Ruud wasn't fit, Giggs got a nose-bleed, Rooney is too young, Scholes had two bad games, Keane is fine in Premiership but too old for this level, Ronaldo's a greedy, showboating teenager but let's see some PASSION and FIGHT. We needed to go out and win tonight's game !
And now we have to put up with Chelski and their oh so clever manager in the media for 2 months !
PS. Did you happen to see Lyon's result 10-2 versus Werder Bremen - yes that is not a typo 10 goals against 2 goals. So Fergie's squad rotation against Fernabache doesn't look quite so clever now, does it ?
I met a lady from Newcastle who is giving two children from Chernobyl a summer holiday in the UK. She told me that two weeks in this country adds two years to their life expectancy.