Posts from March 03, 2006

I spurned my first few invitations to linkedin.com as I already get plenty of spam email.

However, I finally succumbed but now I am very fearful that someone, someday will receive the following endorsement from me so please, please don't ever connect to my network.

"Simply the best technical consultant, called Norman, who lives in Inverness, I have ever had the pleasure of working with. Mr. N. Brightside has an awesome and exceptional knowledge of PowerPoint internals. Definitely a member of my A-Team. PS. Always stands his round too which is also important."

One of the candidates on BBC2's The Apprentice is a management consultant. He was very keen and virtually begged to be allowed to do the sales pitch on this week's show.

'Please, let me do the pitch. This is what I do. I am world class. There is no-one better.'

And then, in his sharp suit and with his short haircut, he opened his stilted, stuttering, unrehearsed, nerve-ridden pitch to various hard nosed businessmen (about a charity calendar for Great Ormond Street Hospital) with the immortal words.

'Now, please, forgive me if I get a little emotional...'

And all over Britain, the viewing audience cringed with the exception of management consultants everywhere, who exclaimed:

'Oh my God. This guy is simply appalling. I could do so much better. He's not even using Powerpoint. And another thing, just look at that tie.'